Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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