She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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