My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
