Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
