i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
