i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
