i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
