Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
