Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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