We won't sleep together?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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