This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
