SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
