so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
