How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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