I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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