other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
