YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
so much tequila, so little girl.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
