even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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