Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
