I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
