kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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