Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
