Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
