Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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