You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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