I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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