Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
