I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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