i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
