Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
