Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
