I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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