i jhust puked up my retainher.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
