Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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