just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
