uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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