Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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