I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
