I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
