Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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