dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
