Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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