I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
