So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
