Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
