so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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