whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
