Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it's like heaven, but drunker
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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