I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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