so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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